Eggman's Thoughts And Ramblings
by Dragonlord1157
Summary: As I like to express my thoughts and ramble on, Eggman forced me (kinda) to write a story about him doing the exact same thing! I made a deal to write this so he doesn't destroy Earth. Metal Sonic due later along with a new Metal Shadow. Will be updated randomly with a new chapter now that it is technically "complete."
1. A ramble

As you may all know I like to ramble a lot. So, i'm making a whole story about it! kinda. Disclaimer time!

Disclaimer: All characters used or referenced are property of Sega and authors whose writings I enjoy, Oh and Brawl in the family

Suggestion: Please go to the website as it has clever comics about nintendo characters getting into whacky areas with special

appearances by Sonic himself, Shadow, and Tails (even though they appear rarely)

Author's note: All this is in Eggman's thoughts unless specifically said so.

Hello again, did you miss me? Of course you did i'm your glorious leader Dr. Eggman. Or Dr. Robotnik. Whichever you prefer. I suggest bowing to me

Well i'm rather bored today, i've forced an innocent writer to write a story about me. And i'm still waiting to see what world Sonic will go to next. I also

really ought to have gotten to work on Metal Shadow. He could be really cool, you know like machine gun on his back, all the abilities of shadow,

complete and utter devotion to me, the ability to go super would be really cool. Oh and flamethrowers and lots and lots of missiles and guns. Maybe I

need to put everything I did in Omega times ten and put it in Metal Shadow. Oh, theres Orbot, being an idiot with Cubebot. I think I will activate the

security on them for fun. I'm back after watching that oh my evilness, that was so funny! The way they scrambled for their expendable lives and got

obliterated by my super-ultra-mega-hyper-dark-light-triple-scatter-ice -plasma-missile-bomb-laser annihilation beam. Oh what fun I had building that. I

need to make over nine thousand times smaller and then I can put it in Metal Shadow. Which I should really start making. Now. Walking to my evil

lab, Walking and dancing and singing to my theme song to my lab, jamming out to my theme song as I input the code to my lab, Jamming out in my

lab, Listening to remixes of my theme song while working on Metal Shadow in my lab. Oo! I love this part, "I am the Eggman! Thats what I am!" Oh

yeah this song rocks! Guitar solo playing while working on robot! Makes me want to put a boombox in him along with an MP3 or Ipod. Then Ijust

need to play an awesome song like 'All hail metal shadow', 'Unknown from M.E.T.A.L.', 'I will believe in Eggman', or 'Open your metallic heart', no,

no I got it! 'Function and adapt!' It's perfect! then I can make Metal Sonic adventure and people will love it! then Metal Sonic adventure 2, Metal Sonic

Heroes, Metal Shadow the robot, Metal Sonic 06, although i'll make it better than Sonic 06 same with Metal Shadow the robot, Metal Sonic and the

secret rings, Metal Sonic and the black knight, Oh! Metal Sonic Colors! And last but not least, Metal Sonic Generations! Oh, it will be perfect and i'll

make a fortune for the empire then I can but station square, demolish it and then build Eggmanland on top! Then I can continue to make more games

and by more places and then expand my empire, then I will eventually control the world! Need to write that plan down here. Don't use 'till all other

plans do. That'll work. Oh your still here? Well ok. Do you plan to bow before me? No?! Start doing it or i'll shoot you with my obliteration beam.

Thats it. Up and down, up and down. Keep doing that until i'm out of sight. Or I can't see you. Either way. Oo I just heard the bell that means Metal

Shadow is done being made! Rise you glorious machine! Good, it works! I'll save you for the finale of The Great Adventure story. *boop* He's off. Do

what now, I could build the super-ultra-mega-hyper-dark-light-triple-scatter-ice -plasma-missile-bomb-laser annihilation beam mark 2. Or I could build

the Falcon Punch gun. Falcon Punch gun it is. Let's see awesomeness here, punching abilities here, ammo here, more awesomeness, ability to blow

stuff up, check, anti-hedgehog spray, lots of awesomeness, essence of awesomeness, pure awesomeness, and last but not least, how awesome

Eggman thinks he is amount of awesomeness. It's ready and beautiful. I shall have to test it out in a later chapter of The Great Adventure. Oh your still

here and bowing? Well you can go now my rambling is over for today. go read something else if your bored. Goodbye all future servants of the Eggman

Empire! A bad night to all! And to all a bad night!

_Farewell. Goodbye. I so miss our fun together. Come again, and remember to bow. Eggman out. *Transmission lost* Wow that was, interesting._

I hoped you enjoyed a look into the ingenious mind of Eggman. I now know I tend to ramble so i'll keep it short and sweet. Goodbye and have a good

night. (Yeah! four chapters of one story and two other stories started! Is that some kind of record on here? Probably not. Bye.)


	2. Time for our world

Hi Dragonlord1157 here again with the second instillation of Eggman and his amazing thoughts. Yes Eggman, you can delay the attack again. Don't

use the "but I really want to conquer something today" sad face or I will use author powers on you. Now get into your position so I can write this story.

Rats! Accidentally used author power on his poor unfortunate soul and brain. Status on Eggman invasion of our Earth: delayed because of new chapter.

Disclaimer: Eggman and all of his minions and belongings belong to Sega

Claimer: Eggman declares the idea to invade our earth his own

* * *

Hello again people of my empire! I'm back with even more thoughts for you. Now to you people at Sega, WHY AM I A COMIC RELIEF

CHARACTER?! I mean I was the big bad guy for a while but then Sega said, "Hey Eggman we got a great plan ahead for you! Sign here and we'll

make it official!" I knew I shouldn't have signed that contract. I did, however, willingly change my name to Eggman. It is my real name people.

Robotnik is something "Americans" came up with. Apparently Empire city used to call me that too. But I wanted my real name to be known and feared

around the world, so I signed a contract to have my real name introduced in Sonic Adventure. Little did I know that would start my descent into comic

relief bad guy. At least i'm not as bad as Orbot and Cubebot. They just add insult to injury when cracking jokes, their heads, and just about everything

they touch. I should probably not let them near Metal Shadow. But enough about my world, I have a lot to say about yours! Like the fact that every

game I star in that is not labeled Sonic 1,2, or 3 or even Sonic & Knuckles has a bad review and score. Even though the grade has gone up since

Unleashed it is still not satisfactory! Also, what is with all the hate for Assassins Creed 3? I think its a good game. But the glorious Dr. Eggman's

opinion doesn't matter, does it. You guys can hate it all you want while I actually do something with my life like conquering the world. I think you will

still hate it and complain after I conquer the world and I think you won't even notice I conquered the world you guys complain so much. Oh, to all

Young Justice and Green Lantern: The Animated Series fans, I hate the fact they are getting cancelled too. As soon as I take over the world I shall

make sure they return as soon as possible and keep going until I find myself satisfied. That is one reason I hate this author, he delays my attack on

your Earth which means I can't renew any of my favorite shows by taking over their studios headquarters! (Hey I hate that fact too but I can't allow

someone evil to try to take over.) Oh great now the author has input on this story. (Yep.) This is going to be a long Fanfiction isn't it? (Its only gonna be

five chapters at the least) Oh goody! Then after that I can ignore the contract to not conquer the earth! (Doc, don't you still have more videogames and

Fanfictions to appear in?) Fine! Fine! After all that then I will conquer the Earth. Happy? (Quite) Now no more interruptions alright? (Okey-dokie

artichokie) Man that guy gets on my nerves. Anyway back to your planet reader which is where i'm sure all you people who write stuff like this live and

those of you who write worse stuff live, I will hunt you all down first so you or Sega can't use author and creator powers on me! Wait, what do you

mean those don't work in the real world? Thank you for your research Metal Sonic now I have a better plan than to do that for that reason, i'll do it

because some of you have a sick mind! And because some of you I rather dislike. A lot. Wow, I never thought I would say this, but the Man with an I.Q.

of 300 has nothing more to say, complain or ramble on about you and your strange, demented minds. I'll be back next time the author updates! I give

him about a month everytime he updates a chapter. More if he says to me he is going on vacation. Goodbye all future cowerers beneath my might when

I come! Oh ho ho!

* * *

Yep, now Eggman will start complaining to us now, but maybe only for this chapter. Well, as an author I am worried about his latest

threat to authors of Fanfiction and I can't come up with every idea, so I ask you the reader to tell me what to write about in these or Eggman will

destroy the world. (Maybe I should write a story about that to appease him. *epic foreshadowing*) Goodbye and remember kids: don't cheat as a

cheater never prospers unless you are Eggman. Eggman declares so! Yes everyone, at the end of every chapter Eggman will be giving us advice about

what to do in life, they shall be posted down here so I can take suggestions for them. These bits of wisdom shall be called "Eggman declares" a parody

of Sonic yet again and thank you for reading. (insert Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog credits music here)


	3. References, Eggman, and trouble

Hello everyone and thanks for reading this and reviewing. I'm thinking of making another story starring Eggman (why I have more starring Eggman

than any other character is beyond me) and it will involve interviews for working in the Eggman empire. If you send me an OC (the story will probably

be the only one to do so) and tell me what you think would happen I will write about it. This will not be a blog and be interactive other than talking

about what might happen in the chapter (sorry everyone who likes blog stuff but, I wish not to be banned) So, if you wish to, please send me an OC.

(I will probably do the first chapter with my own OC if I do the story) Now remember what our glorious leader Dr. Eggman said, "I'M SAVING YOU

JUNIOR!" (Yes, it is an Eggman quote even though he was called Robotnik back then)

Disclaimer: I don't own Eggman nor the Eggman empire those belong to Sega

Claimer: I pwn noobs on multiplayer games

* * *

What you again? Why must you be in such a rush to hear me speak my mind (or the authors through author power) every week? I JUST TOLD YOU

MY THOUGHTS LAST WEEK! (Or whatever time the author updated) And to those of you wondering, no I have not finished Metal Shadow; he still

needs something to power him. The catch is it needs to be the amount of energy a chaos emerald could emit but a bit lower than that. I know now! I'll

"borrow" a fake emerald from fox boy and use Metal Shadow to "thank" him. Perfect, I'll totally shout "Cause were Sonic Heroes!" when I do it. I can

picture it now: "Cause were Sonic Heroes! SONI- *BADABOOM KAKAKABOOM*. Perfect. Now, I just need to figure out where his house is.

Where did Sonic first call me Eggman again? Oh right! In the mystic ruins; then to the mystic ruins! We're off to destroy the fox boy, the horrible fox

friend of Sonic, I hear he is a wiz of a science wiz if ever a wiz of a science wiz there was! We're off to see the fox boy! The horrible fox friend of

Soniiiiiic! Lovely movie that was. "Honey i'm home! Whats for dinner, cause i''m hungry!FEED ME!" Hoo hoo hoo! I love references to other things!

Oh here's fox boy now! "Eggman! You want the fake chaos emerald I invented just yesterday!" "You are correct sir!" Totally referenced something I

don't even know. "Here then." Wait, that wasn't supposed to be that easy. "ARE YOU CRAZY WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!" Oh joy, Knuckles. "I

guess i'll have to create it again." Oo! I do like the reference to Sonic X though. "SQUADALA! I'M OFF!" *back at Eggman's lair* *insert adventures

of Sonic the hedgehog Dr. Robotnik theme here* Aha! Perfect! "RISE MY GLORIOUS MACHINE!" Metal Shadow is sittting up. Metal Shadow is

looking at me now. Somehow I don't think he is exactly happy with me. "Hello Eggman, Metal Sonic told me of his past experience with you. I am

displeased." Oh fiddlesticks! I knew I forgot the obedience chips in Metal Sonic and Metal Shadow. "Emergency shutdown initiate. Code word:

E.G.G.M.A.N." "Shut down initiated" Good Metal Shadow is off and looks less likely to kill me. Now to find Metal Sonic, the traitor. *end music*

* * *

Metal Sonic was flying out of Eggman's base as fast as he could 'Oh snap! Oh snap! Oh snap! I knew I shouldn't have had Metal Shadow to announce

my betrayal!' Eggman soon popped put of nowhere and the text after the next period began to continue his thoughts. Aha! Perfect, if the story keeps

breaking the fourth wall it will be so weak I will be able to hop out of my world and take over easily! Oh you heard that author, didn't you. (yep.) Well,

rats. (You should watch what you think more often) You should stop putting shameless inserts of yourself in stories. (touché) Well after /i give Metal

Sonic the beating of a life time I will return to more important things like putting obedience chips in both of them. Unfortunately that will mean I have

to wait a month for them to activate afterwards. *One beating of a lifetime later* The brain chip's connected to the, everything else chip! And done!

The obedience chip is installed. I wonder whats for dinner. Oh no! Cubebot! "Howdy boss!" "Hello, Cubebot." "Gee it sure is boring around here!"

"My bot! This peace is what all true emperors strive for!" "I just wonder what Sonic's up to." *Swoooosh* *Scree* "Your evilness, Sonic and his

heroes have seized the island of Eggidai." "Hm, how can we help?" "It is written, only you can defeat Sonic." "Great i'll grab my stuff!" "There is no

time! Your bots are enough!" "How 'bout a kiss, for luck!" "You've got to be kidding!" (How did Zelda get here?) "Squadala! We're off!" "Wow, look at

all those friends! Who are they?" "These are the faces of heroes. You must be conquered by each." "I guess I better get- Wait, WHAT!" Did he just say

I must be conquered by each?! "I said you must be conquered by each my leige." "That's it. After you've scrubbed all the floors in I-rule than we can

talk about mercy. Take him away!" "Yes my leige!" Ah, nothing like Gwonam-bot being dragged off by random french-bot guard guy. Now with more

references out of the way, I must go back to my base and wait a month (Or a week due to updates) for my robots to be loyal and functioning. What

the-? Ganon-bot? "Join me Link and I will make your face the greatest in Eggidai! Or else you will die!" "My name is Eggman." "YOU DARE

CORRECT ME IN MY LAIR! YOU MUST DIE!" Oh snicker-doodle. *Many blasts of lightning later* *Dananana! (or, insert the item obtain music

from any Legend of Zelda game here* -You got the book of Eggidai!- With an evil smile on my face I threw the book at Ganon-bot. "No! Not into the

pit! IT BUUUUUUURNS!" And good riddance to thee. Wow. This entire book I didn't ramble or complain about much. In fact this chapter was mostly

references to many other things! What the heck?! Why I oughta- *Cut off due to extremely detailed way of killing the author, luckily without colorful

vocabulary* and then feed that pig to a shark! Well, that helped me a lot and now iv'e complained about something. Oh and you? You expecting

something out of this? YOU GET NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR AND/OR MA'AM! (Back to a narrator's view) After yelling at the

reader, Eggman returned to hunching over a computer and making elaborate traps to catch Sonic once and for all and then obtained the new

high-score on Sonic Dash which he than deleted so no one would find out he actually exists. Or enjoys playing Sonic games. That too.

* * *

And thats it for this chapter. As you may have noticed, I do not like the use of colorful vocabulary in my story. Also the less colorful ones are always

more entertaining to hear anyway. Seriously, Oh fiddle-dee-dee! Is a lot more entertaining to hear than a more colorful word. Remember, Eggman rules

you. And now for Eggman demands! *Insert Sonic says music here* Remember servants of my empire, school is very important! If you keep going to

school and keep learning you will end up about less than half as smart as me! So stay in school kids! Eggman demands so! *Insert your favorite credits

music here*


	4. Wait What happened to the author?

Hello readers. I am here for the final chapter of this story. "But Dragonlord1157, aren't you supposed to write five chapters to make Eggman not

conquer our universe?" Well, he was supposed to. I, Dr. Eggman, captured him and took him to my universe. Now after a month I can conquer your

world! Then your universe. It was fun. See you later future slaves.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Sega, and all other things referenced do.

* * *

Well, if I had to reference anything while quoting it right now I would have to say, 'I won!' comes to mind. A lot. I have now captured the author and

now over a month can pass, no problem. After that, I can conquer the world. Stop looking at me like that. The author didn't say I couldn't capture him

to prevent him from putting up new chapters to delay me. And good news! Metal Shadow and Metal Sonic have finally completed their obedience chip

installation. That means when I come you can flee before their might! And I plan on conquering your world specifically only using them. Feel special

as yours will be the only planet to have that happen to it. I don't really see why your still reading. Want a rant? Fine. What? No way! I can't believe

this! I just looked on the website your reading this on and saw this story was labeled as humor. Apparently he didn't hear my rant on not being used

as comic relief. Well, I showed him. by the way, isn't role playing awesome? I may enforce it when I conquer your Earth. MMORPGs are awesome as

well. I like tanking or being DPS. If your not a nerd skip this. Every fighting game needs something like a fatality from Mortal Kombat. I can see Sonic

the Fighters being different with that. it would go like: Finish him/her! Metal Sonic then blast them to ashes with his laser and then it would say:

Metal Sonic wins. Fatality. Awesome. Well, I finally came up with a full proof plan. Goodbye. Shortest chapter ever!  
_

*Insert Eggman declares music here* Remember to be prepared. If you aren't someone could conquer you at any time. Eggman declares so!

*End music* Your'e still reading this? Go. Amscray. Leave. Depart. Flee. Especially when I take over your world. Goodbye.

To be continued?


	5. The end?

Disclaimer: I don't own Sega or its characters. I also don't own anything referenced in this chapter.

* * *

*Over one month later*

I knew I had to escape from Eggman in order to stop his world controlling scheme. I soon used author powers (yes they still work in Sonic universe)

and escaped, then I summoned Sonic here using them who fought me free while under my control thanks to a controller I had in my hands. I soon

made Eggman teleport away to a new base and protected my home from invasion of Eggman and ruined his machine enough to not be able to go to

my universe. Why didn't I do this before? Plot convenience and as a way to draw more readers in. I'm a cruel, evil person. Thanks Dr. Eggman. "No

problem." Well, back to the main character. I then typed the rest of this chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

It was all over. Five chapters of this story had been written. How Dr. Eggman knew is that he woke up around one month later after his self written

(mostly) chapter 4 and looked at this story. He saw this chapter. Defeated, he remembered the good times he had during this story. And how he

had been beaten before the first break-line that was non-disclaimer. (Yep, its the flashback episode of this story)

* * *

I remembered when the story was introduced along with the quickly destroyed gag break-lines.

*flashback*

Well i'm rather bored today, i've forced an innocent writer to write a story about me. And i'm still waiting to see what world Sonic will go to next. I also

really ought to have gotten to work on Metal Shadow. He could be really cool, you know like machine gun on his back, all the abilities of shadow,

complete and utter devotion to me, the ability to go super would be really cool. Oh and flamethrowers and lots and lots of missiles and guns. Maybe I

need to put everything I did in Omega times ten and put it in Metal Shadow.

* end flashback*

I sighed as I walked to the lab and began to upgrade Metal Shadow and sighed disappointedly as I knew no humans would flee from myself in

terror while being shot at by Metal Shadow while I conquered the world for my Eggman empire.

* * *

The second chapter, oh the second chapter, when I turned upon the author's world and ranted. I also got a one on one talk with him.

*flash back*

That is one reason I hate this author, he delays my attack on your Earth which means I can't renew any of my favorite shows by taking over their

studios headquarters! (Hey I hate that fact too but I can't allow someone evil to try to take over.) Oh great now the author has input on this story.

(Yep.) This is going to be a long Fanfiction isn't it? (Its only gonna be five chapters at the least) Oh goody! Then after that I can ignore the contract to

not conquer the earth! (Doc, don't you still have more videogames and Fanfictions to appear in?) Fine! Fine! After all that then I will conquer the Earth.

Happy? (Quite) Now no more interruptions alright? (Okey-dokie artichokie) Man that guy gets on my nerves.

*end flashback*

Also the first "Eggman declares" was shown. I think I have it somewhere in this non-existent money pool I have behind me.

(One quick dive later)

Found it. Shall I read it? Of course I should! I came up with it! Not that author! *ahem*

"Don't cheat as a cheater never prospers unless you are Eggman. Eggman declares so!"

Ah, the second chapter.

* * *

Now don't forget the third. Many, many references to the nightmare known as the CD-i were made. In fact I remember it as the

chapter that was almost past a month, nearly allowing me to conquer the real world.

*flashback*

"Gee it sure is boring around here!" "My bot! This peace is what all true emperors strive for!" "I just wonder what Sonic's up to." *Swoooosh*

*Scree* "Your evilness, Sonic and his heroes have seized the island of Eggidai." "Hm, how can we help?" "It is written, only you can defeat Sonic."

"Great i'll grab my stuff!" "There is no time! Your bots are enough!" "How 'bout a kiss, for luck!" "You've got to be kidding!" (How did Zelda get

here?) "Squadala! We're off!" "Wow, look at all those friends! Who are they?" "These are the faces of heroes. You must be conquered by each." "I

guess I better get- Wait, WHAT!" Did he just say I must be conquered by each?! "I said you must be conquered by each my leige." "That's it. After

you've scrubbed all the floors in I-rule than we can talk about mercy. Take him away!" "Yes my leige!" Ah, nothing like Gwonam-bot being dragged

off by random french-bot guard guy. Now with more references out of the way, I must go back to my base and wait a month (Or a week due to updates)

for my robots to be loyal and functioning. What the-? Ganon-bot? "Join me Link and I will make your face the greatest in Eggidai! Or else you will

die!" "My name is Eggman." "YOU DARE CORRECT ME IN MY LAIR! YOU MUST DIE!" Oh snicker-doodle. *Many blasts of lightning later*

*Dananana! (or, insert the item obtain music from any Legend of Zelda game here* -You got the book of Eggidai!- With an evil smile on my face I

threw the book at Ganon-bot. "No! Not into the pit! IT BUUUUUUURNS!" And good riddance to thee.

*end flashback*

Which reminds me I still need to find a way to *yet again cut off due to extremely detailed way of killing the author, yet again without colorful words*

and then feed that pig to a shark. Good times in chapter three.

* * *

Chapter four, where we learned I could make successful plans. Also fatalities are awesome in everything. It also the shortest chapter.

*flashback*

Every fighting game needs something like a fatality from Mortal Kombat. I can see Sonic the Fighters being different with that. it would go like: Finish

him/her! Metal Sonic then blast them to ashes with his laser and then it would say: Metal Sonic wins. Fatality. Awesome. Well, I finally came up with a

full proof plan. Goodbye. Shortest chapter ever!

*end flashback*

And then I got a serious stomping by Sonic o we one month after. My favorite chapter. It was as awesome as Knuckle's short lived

hat while I was in control and then just as sad when the hat died when the author used author power in this chapter. Rest in peace, Knuckle's hat.

* * *

And then there was this chapter, as I shouldn't flashback to anything in this chapter, I have to say one thing: It was a really fun thing to participate in

and force the author to write in the first place. Overall, it was a nice thing to have done and I regret that it may end and be cancelled like Young Justice

and Green Lantern: The Animated Series. I shall miss them. It was a great thing to do. Goodbye to all, great readers. May a man as great as I conquer

you someday. Farewell.

-Your non-future ruler,

Dr. Eggman

* * *

It truly was a fun thing to do. Thank you for reading this great story and reviewing for those of you who did. I may continue this story with one of

characters applying to work for the Eggman empire, like the one mentioned before, maybe slightly altered.

Thank you for reading.

-Dragonlord1157

* * *

Hey Eggman, how about one more Eggman declares, for old times sake? "Alright, fine I'll do it." Yay! (And you thought this was over)

*insert Sonic says music here* Readers, I encourage you to use your own imagination to do great things, you could build a robot to conquer the world

even! Or you could write stories like this guy. Your imagination is a great thing so use it, don't lose it. Eggman declares so!

*end music.*

*start your favorite show ending song here.* Credits: Dragonlord1157 as Author, Dr. Eggman as Himself, Me as Flashback guy, Myself as Co-author,

and I as Chief of editing and parenthetical sentences.

*End music*

Thank you for reading!

Now try to write your own story!

-The author, Dragonlord 1157 (Ah drat, i'm rambling again. Dr. Eggman has left a bigger footprint on me then I thought. Goodbye.)

To be continued...possibly.


End file.
